"Just blame Rome..."

Rome, you're no good for me.

You make me crazy, make me laugh hysterically one minute and want to cry hysterically the next. I make decisions that don't make sense to me, do ridiculous and impractical things, and when I wonder "why?" out loud, all I'm told is to blame you.

You--with all of your inconsistency, your chaos, your completely disarming and yet charming sense of beauty. There is no place like here, no place like you, and you know it. You are proud, but not cocky; regal and majestic; ancient and full of wisdom--wisdom you don't share easily. You know what's gone on before, and you know that it's not worth the trouble to deal with it again. You don't even have to try; you are content to exist, to just be. You understand that being is an art grander than the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain, or even St. Peter's. Rome, you know how to live.

Rome, you're no good for me; you make me weak, lower my defenses, let me stumble, leave me exhausted. You push me around, and when that's not enough for you, you knock me down on my face. You shape me; you make me. I get sucked in by your mystery and your romance, and you spit me back out laughing, making me stand up on my own two feet again. You have taught me passion, to live in the moment, to seize adventure with both hands and take off running.

Oh, Rome, we've had less than four months together, but a lifetime wouldn't be enough for you. After all, you're the Eternal City--you've been here for thousands of years before me, and you'll still be here after me. In a city of this scale, I never thought I'd really get my hands on you, but I've made pieces of you my own. And I haven't left yet, but before I do, I'm leaving a piece of myself here too. I'll be the girl in the dress sitting on the cobblestones of St. Peter's Square, gazing up at the Basilica with a cone of gelato in my hand, still as completely in awe of you as I was my first night here back in August. Others may not see me, but a memory of me will always remain; you'll know I'm there, and that's enough.

Oh, Rome, you're no good for me, but I've loved you relentlessly all the same. I've defended you, and I keep coming back to you over and over again. You're intoxicating, and you draw me back in every time--from the alleys of Trastevere to Via del Corso and back to Monte Mario. Somehow my roads have led me to you, and I can't escape--and I don't want to.

You have given me everything, but you've taken all of me too. I can't get enough of you because there will never be enough. You're everything, and you're definitely too much for me.

Oh, Rome, you have been so good for me.

-megan

"... Each, in its own way, was unforgettable. It would be difficult to - Rome! By all means, Rome. I will cherish my visit here in memory as long as I live." --Roman Holiday

Even the smallest things.

“When I told someone that I was from Rome / it didn’t feel like a slip of the tongue.”
--from the student farewell speech at the end of the semester banquet

This semester has changed me, shaped me, and reminded me who I am—but that’s all underneath the surface. On the most basic level, this semester has also taken a toll physically on me.

I’ve been sore, beaten, and bruised. I’ve walked miles around Europe’s most famous cities, hiked trails linking the tiny towns of Italy’s coast, climbed a volcano, and even walked a mile just to go to the supermercato. I’ve acquired strange bruises of mysterious origins. I’ve tripped and fallen on the cobblestones of Rome more often than I care to admit. I now bear a scar on my left knee from tripping while playing calcio in the rain—a scar I hope doesn’t fade anytime soon because it serves as a physical reminder of my time at the J-Force. My feet are still sore from wearing heels to last night’s end of the semester banquet downtown (not the smartest idea I’ve ever had).

I’ve gotten knocked to the ground while trying to board the train back to Rome after a wine festival, squeezed onto the crowded 913 bus on the way to on site class, and generally forgotten about having any sense of personal space. Living, eating, studying, and constantly being in one building with the same 150 people will also do that to you.

I’ve woken up at 1:30am to catch a flight and almost as early for trains, napped on more train rides than I can count on two hands, considered six hours of sleep more than adequate, and generally grew to view late nights followed by early mornings as normal. Weekend mornings where I slept in until 11:ooam have been non-existent this semester, in exchange for exploring some of the world’s most fascinating cities. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I slept until 11, but I can remember waking up at 7am yesterday morning after going to bed at 2:30am.

I’ve eaten more train station sandwiches than I can count, bought over-priced muffins from Rome’s Termini train station on numerous occasions, feasted on McDonald’s at the end of many trips, and considered beginning to drink coffee more than once. I’ve also snacked on trains, not ordered water, and eaten sandwiches instead of full meals to save money. I’ve learned to love olive oil, buffalo mozzarella, and olives, and I can at least sound like I know what I’m talking about when it comes to wine. My main food groups have become pasta, pizza, sandwiches, and gelato, and that has probably had an effect on the way that my clothes fit, but it was worth every bite, every meal, every 60 Euro cent cornetto from Rinaldo’s. I’ll start running again once I’m back in Missouri (where flat ground does occasionally exist).

I suffered through the heat of Rome in August without air conditioning, the days when our window was always kept open in hopes of a breeze and we would shower right before going out just so we would at least feel presentable. Some people here didn't see any sites in Rome during the day until we'd been here for a month because we never went out in the city when the sun was out. Then, two months later, I slept in layers of clothes before the heat was turned on at the J-Force. I’ve stood in the rain at Auschwitz, frolicked in the snow of Salzburg, and had shoes full of sand in Egypt. Just last week, I walked across the bridge in front of the Eiffel Tower with my best friend in the world in the pouring rain as we both got soaked. Standing and watching the Eiffel Tower light show afterwards with our respective umbrellas is one of my favorite memories of that entire week.

There’s been other things too—I’ve skipped showering more often than I care to admit (usually in favor of sleeping), my hair has grown at least 2-3 inches, and I think I even dress a little bit differently. New clothing has crept into my wardrobe, from scarves from Cinque Terre, Cairo, and Florence to the purple coat I bought yesterday at the Roman clothes market.

But I’ve adapted to this physical change. All of the behavior I’ve just mentioned somehow became normal to me over the course of the last 3 months. I been so conditioned to a certain sort of behavior that it's hard to imagine how I'm going to go back to the way I was before, although I suppose the short answer is that I'm not, but that's the point. I have changed, and it will leave effects on me, even though I will probably go back to sleeping in until 11 pretty soon.

And I’ve loved every minute of it; I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I’m going to miss it more than I can express.

-megan

The real lessons are outside the classroom.

Oh, Roma. I can't leave you. I can't let you go.

Final week of class. Last Theology class yesterday. Last Italian class tomorrow. Calcio championships/last night at BP tomorrow night. Last paper due Thursday. Final day of class Thursday. End of the semester banquet Thursday night. Study day Friday. Finals starting Saturday afternoon. Last night out in Rome Saturday night. Last Sunday Mass at the JFRC chapel. Finals Monday and Tuesday. Packing, packing, packing Wednesday. "See you later's" and then Germany on Thursday.

It's coming too soon, especially finals. I am so bitter that my last real week in Rome is mainly being spent in the JFRC library, tucked away with notebooks and textbooks by myself, rather than out exploring the city with my friends for one last time. It has been unanimously agreed upon that we have learned exponentially more on the weekends than during the week anyway, so why are my final days in this wonderful city being ruined by something as trivial as exams? In the end, what is really more important?

While I've never ever been someone that has blown off school (and I'm still not), I think that one of the most important lessons I have learned while studying abroad is that there are so many things that are far more important than school. And what matters now, in these final, fleeting moments, is Rome, with all of it's inconsistency, all of its chaotic beauty, all of its passion, all of the lessons I have learned and have yet to learn.

Oh, Roma. I have to leave you, but I won't let you go.

-megan

All good things must come to end.

Unfortunately, it is always true that “all good things must come to an end,” whether it’s a cone of the best gelato I’ve ever tasted, the Pink team’s Calcio season, or even this semester in Rome.

This past Wednesday evening was the beginning of Calcio playoffs. The top 8 teams were matched up, and only the four winning teams continue on to the next week. Unfortunately, although the Pink team played a great game, we had a round of bad luck and ended up losing. Therefore, for the pink team at least, the calcio season is now over. And the most ironic thing about the end of the Calcio season is that I never realized how much I enjoyed it until it was over.

I’ve fallen into a routine over the course of this semester, where Wednesday nights automatically equal Calcio matches and going out for beer and pizza afterwards. While we still have one more week left, I will just be standing on the outside, which is so strange.

Let’s be honest: frankly, I was a bit freaked out about playing Calcio in the beginning, and I wasn’t much better at the end. My roommate/teammate, Beth, informed me that every time someone asked me if I wanted to go in, I looked terrified, which I fully believe. However, underneath all of that, I genuinely did enjoy a lot of things about Calcio; it really was a great bonding experience.

Much scarier than trying to play defense against boys a foot taller than me though is realizing that I’m never going to do it again. Never again will I stand with those people on that field, chanting for the pink team, and being amazed at my more talented teammates Calcio abilities.

However, this all just brings me to the scariest realization of all: understanding that this ending is only the first of many that I will have to see through in the next month. And when I say month, that’s an exact number. I fly back to Chicago (and then St. Louis) on December 20^th.

With every passing day, I’m becoming more aware of the other endings I’m going to have to face (including the dreaded final exams). I don’t think I’ve ever really handled endings well. I’m far too nostalgic of a person. Beginnings are exciting, but they make me nervous. Middles are comfortable, but they don’t last.

Endings are so bittersweet—we’ve learned to love Rome, the J-Force, Europe, gelato, and (perhaps most importantly) each other over the past few months. Soon we will be forced to leave it all behind, as we return to our normal lives and seek to understand the many ways that this semester has changed us with only a few cheesy souvenirs, greatly depleted bank accounts, and our memories to show for it.

We will always have our memories though, and perhaps they will be enough. I certainly know that they will be counted among my most treasured. All I can do now is be thankful that I was blessed enough to be able to have such a wonderful opportunity.

-megan

“airports, see it all the time
where someone's last goodbye
blends in with someone's sigh
'cause someone's coming home

you can't build a house of leaves
and live like it's an evergreen
it's just a season thing
it's just this thing that seasons do

and if you never stop when you wave goodbye
you just might find if you give it time
you will wave hello again
you just might wave hello again”

--john mayer

buon appetite.

I am a little bit obsessed with the way that Italians eat. I've never known a group of people that are so dedicated to food.

To eat dinner the Italian way, most people won't go out until at least 8:00. They will eat several courses (antipasti, primo, secondo, etc). They'll linger for hours over a meal, drinking wine, and enjoying conversation. Unlike in US, no one rushes you away from your table. Waiters expect you to stay for at least a couple of hours.

Everything here is so fresh. Even the simplest things are so good; I end up eating tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella almost everyday, just because it's that good.

Everywhere in Italy and especially in Rome, there's so many good restaurants, bakeries, and cafes. And everything is [almost always] excellent.

Other people have been complaining about becoming sick of pasta since the beginning of the semester, but I'm not. At all. And frankly, I'm not looking forward to going back to American food. I feel like food here is a lot healthier here and better tasting.

Yes, the food is definitely going to be one of the hardest things to give up. I will miss it so much.

"It started feeling like October."

I can't believe we're already a week into October. I'm already almost to the halfway point of my time here. Ironically enough, I feel like I’ve just really started to get the hang of being here over the past couple weeks.

I’ve been staying pretty busy lately (which accounts for my lack of updates). My parents were here last week, and it was wonderful to see them! They were in Rome Sunday through Wednesday, so I spent a lot of time with them. Having them here and being able to show them around is one of the things that really made me feel at home here.

On Friday, I went on an adventure to Assisi with my friend Carly! We took and train there early in the morning, and came back the same night. I went to Assisi the first time when I was in Italy a few years ago, and I loved it so much that I desperately wanted to go back. Thankfully, Assisi did not disappoint on the second visit! We had a pretty relaxing day, just walking around and visiting some of the of the churches. Ironically enough, St. Francis's feast day was actually on Sunday, which we didn't even realize while we were there!

On Saturday, I went to the Catacombs, which I loved, naturally. They were just so interesting, but I am definitely glad that we had a guide to take us through them because I can understand how people would get lost in them! They were super confusing.

On Sunday, I went to nearby town with a few friends to a wine festival (sagra del vino). It was a lot of fun, but super crowded. The only thing I know how to compare it to is an Italian version of Octoberfest, except with wine instead of beer. They even had a fountain with wine flowing out of it instead of water!

This past week has been pretty busy with schoolwork and other activities. Calcio update: after losing our first match, and tying last week, the Pink Team prevailed for our first win last night! It was pretty epic with a final score of 5-1.

Now I am done with classes for the week, and fall break has officially started! I leave bright and early tomorrow morning to fly to Krakow and get started on my adventure in Eastern Europe! I will be gone for about 9 days (coming back next Saturday), and it should be a fantastic trip!

Wish me luck!

-megan

Livin' the JForce life.

Well, it's been a busy week for me! Although I've mainly been in Rome, there's been quite a bit going on. To sum some highlights of the past week:

Tuesday night, we had a karaoke night at the Rome Center. It ended up being a lot of fun and was just a really good bonding time for everyone. We sang a lot of 80's and 90's music, and had huge dance party.

Wednesday morning, we had to get up early to go the Papal Audience. Unfortunately, although I got there pretty early, it wasn't quite early enough, and I ended up not being able to get into the actual audience with the Pope. FYI: just because you have a ticket does NOT mean that you will get in to the actual audience. On the bright side, I still got to see the Pope up close because he drove by in the Popemobile only about 10 feet away from me!

Classes were canceled on Wednesday so that everyone was free to go the Papal Audience, so that afternoon I went back downtown to the Villa Borghese for a few hours and did some exploring. Villa Borghese is essentially Rome's version of Central Park (or I guess it's technically the other way around because I'm pretty sure that the Villa Borghese is older), and it quickly became one of my favorite places in Rome.

Wednesday night, we had the first set of calcio matches for the semester. Calcio is a huge deal here at the Rome Center. Of course, I've never really played soccer before, and I'm really not very athletic at all, but I signed up to play anyway just because I thought it would be a fun bonding activity. I'm on the Pink Team. I did play for part of the game, but I have to admit that I spent most of the time I was out on the field repeatedly thinking about how scary I think soccer is. I'm hoping that feeling will diminish after a few more weeks. After calcio is over, it's tradition for everyone to go out together to this local pizzeria that we call BP. I think I enjoyed that part more than the actual calcio!

Thursday night, it was one of the girl's from SLU's 21st birthday, so a bunch of us went out to celebrate that with her, which was very fun. We actually visited an Irish pub (complete with Irish music), as well as a few other places.

I stayed in Rome this weekend, which has actually been fantastic! As much as I enjoy traveling, it's also really nice to be more relaxed and hang out here, plus there's always more exploring and fun to be had in Rome.

Although today I did go on a day trip with my Italian class to a nearby town named Velletri, where our Italian teacher lives. We got to meet his family, and we all went grocery shopping, then made dinner. His town was having their annual wine festival, so we also went to that.

And just to wrap everything up, tomorrow morning I'm getting up early to go the flea market, and then my parents should be getting to Rome sometime during the afternoon!

It should prove to be another exciting week. :)
-megan

A process of adjustment.

It’s official—I’ve been in Rome for 3 weeks now. During these first few weeks, there have been a variety of things that I’ve had to adjust to as a result of living in Rome/at the JFRC.

These include, but are not limited to:

military time, living in dorms again/eating in a cafeteria for my meals, not using my American cell phone, paying to do laundry, not using a dryer (most of the time), no wireless internet in my dorm room, taking public transportation everywhere, shampoo/other toiletries costing twice what they do at home, not really eating breakfast, stores being closed for siesta times, marble floors everywhere—not just in nice places, and of course, the obvious language barrier.

And last but not least, finding a balance between schoolwork, traveling, and all of the other miscellaneous things I have to do (laundry, going in the grocery store, keeping in touch with people from home, writing in my journal/this blog, etc.).

I say these things not because I view them in a negative light, but rather for the sake of reflecting upon the differences between cultures/residential situations.

With that said, the hardest/worst thing is definitely not eating breakfast. I look forward to the day when I’ll be able to have my cereal and orange juice every morning again.

....

Random other updates:

- I now have an Italian cell phone. It’s pink, and I’m not a fan of that. However, I have text messaging (for free!) for the first time in my life, and I do like that.

- I bought Harry Potter 7 yesterday in Italian. Now my collection is up to the American, British, Chinese, and Italian editions of the book!

- I’m done with my second week of classes now, and Art in Rome is officially my favorite class, even when means getting up early.

- No Friday class tomorrow, so I’m taking off really early to catch a 6:00am train to Cinque Terre with a few other girls! We’re spending the weekend there, then leaving early Sunday morning to stop in Pisa on the way back to Rome. I'm really excited for this.

To classes ending on Thursdays!

-megan

Life as of lately.

Last night we had the Mass of the Holy Spirit. Every Catholic university starts each academic year off with a Mass of the Holy Spirit, and the Rome Center is no exception to this tradition. The mass was at this absolutely beautiful church (I can’t remember the name right now, so just trust me on it), and then everyone went out to dinner afterwards. We all paid 15 Euro for the meal, but it actually cost a lot more (Campus Ministry was nice enough to subsidize it for all of us). Anyway, the food was fantastic—probably my favorite meal yet since arriving in Italy.

I just really love the feel of the Rome Center. It’s such a great place to be. Since it’s a pretty small group of people (approx. 150 students), it really does become a very close-knit community.

Today, I actually signed up to play calcio (soccer) as part of the JFRC intramurals. It’s a big thing here at the Rome Center, and I got talked into doing it… My soccer skills are limited to say the least, so I’ll let you know how this one works out. I’m still a bit skeptical about it, but hopefully it will be fun.

And now I just got done spending way too much time with my Italian-English dictionary and Italian textbook. School has definitely begun.

I’ve now had all of my classes. Today was my first Art in Rome class and one of our rare classes not on-site. Tomorrow, however, we’re meeting at the Roman Forum/Colosseum for class. What’s that? Class on Friday? Aren’t I not supposed to have class on Fridays while in Rome?

Ah, that’s what I thought too. However, as we all unfortunately learned once arriving at the Rome Center, we do in fact have classes on some Fridays. Initially this didn’t seem like much of problem, but it has already made travel plans rather complicated.

Speaking of travel plans, I’m actually leaving to go somewhere tomorrow afternoon! I’m taking the train to Naples, then Sorrento, where I’ll be staying for the rest of the weekend. We’re planning to visit Pompeii, Mount Vesuvius, and Capri, before we come back Sunday night! It should be a busy weekend, but a lot of fun.

I’ve also made a few other travel plans and am working on getting more lined up. Next weekend, I will hopefully be going to Cinque Terre and Pisa! And I also bought my plane ticket for Fall Break. Things are starting to come together, which is very exciting.

More soon about my first real trip this weekend!

-megan

The "study" part of studying abroad.

So it begins... Classes have officially begun at the JFRC (or the J-Force, as we affectionately call it). No more wandering around Rome everyday and spending all our time researching trips and getting to know people. I've moved past simply the "abroad" portion to also embrace the "study" part of studying abroad.

However, since I am in Italy and my schedule allows for it, I'm only taking 12 hours this semester, which will be a nice break from my usual 15-16 hours. My classes are as follows:

• Italian III
• Roman Catholicism
• Food & Wine of Italy
  
• Art in Rome

I've already had all of them except Art In Rome (which is only on Thursdays). So far, they seem like they will all at least be interesting. Italian intimidates me a little bit, I must admit, but I'm hoping that if I just stay focused I'll make it through alright. Roman Catholicism seems pretty straightforward; I don't think it will be too difficult. And of course, Food and Wine should be fun!

I am really excited for Art in Rome though because it's taught almost entirely on site; for example, the day that we learn about the Colosseum, we actually go to the Colosseum. I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Today I went on a small adventure with a few of my friends to the "Bone Church"! (Actual name = Santa Maria della Concezione dei Cappuccini) However, it's nicknamed the Bone Church for one very important reason: the crypt is decorated with the bones of over 4000 monks! You can read more about it/see some pictures here. Pretty crazy stuff. It was certainly a sight to see!

On the way to the Bone Church, we actually stumbled upon another really famous church: San Carlo alla Quattro Fontane. That's one of my absolute favorite things about Rome--how I stumble upon such beauty and history everywhere I go. I am also (finally) the proud owner of a Rome bus map, which is basically a neccesity here. Overall, it was a very successful afternoon!

And... I'm already excited for the weekend!
-megan

Experiencing the Roman life.

I arrived in Rome almost exactly a week ago. It feels both much longer and much shorter. Orientation at the JFRC is already winding to a close, and this past week has been such a mixture of emotions for me.

In the past week, I have:
moved into my room at the JFRC, met many new people, wandered around Rome, seen many of the most famous Roman landmarks, had way too many 3 course meals (I do understand how Italians eat like this on a regular basis), traveled to Southern Italy, looked out over one of the most beautiful views of my entire life, attempted to speak Italian to real Italians, and much more.

It's difficult to describe how it feels to be in Rome again. As I find my way around this city and see all of the sites that I fell in love with while visiting three years ago, it almost feels like coming back home to an old friend that has been neglected for far too long.

Visiting the Vatican last Friday night was one of the best experiences of my time here thus far. Since it was late at night, we obviously couldn't go inside St. Peter's, but we were allowed to wander around the Square, which was almost more beautiful at night. Last time I was in Italy, we visited the Vatican during the day when it was crowded with thousands of people. This time, there was barely anyone else there besides our group, and we were free to wander as we wished, even sitting down and just soaking up what it felt like to be there. That was one of the first moments I really realized that I was in Rome.

I've been around to other sites in Rome as well since arriving--Piazza Navona, the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, the Pantheon, and the Trevi Fountain (a personal favorite). On Sunday, everyone at the Rome Center went to the Colosseum/Forum together, and on the way back, I stopped to eat at a cafe with a few friends. Since it was Sunday afternoon, all of the Italians were there watching the soccer match (and usually passionately yelling at the TV screens). Even experiencing something as simple as that definitely made me feel like I had become clued into something crucial about Rome.

There so much more to say, especially about my time in Southern Italy on the orientation trip, but I'm off to eat lunch, then explore the Spanish Steps. Ciao!

-megan

Getting orientated.

So, I've only been in Rome for a day and a half, but it already feels like it's been so much longer; I guess in part just because there's been a LOT going on.

My journey to Rome went fairly well. I actually had a little bit of trouble with my flight to Chicago, but even that worked out fine. The flight to Rome was long, as expected, but it ended early and all of my luggage arrived safety, so I really can't complain! Side note: on Alitalia Airlines, they serve free wine with your meal. Only in Italy...

Once we arrived at the Rome Center, everyone had to register, then I got to meet my roommate and start unpacking. We had a few other orientation type meetings yesterday, then last night I went with a group of people from here to eat at a local restaurant. The food was wonderful, of course; there was just a lot of it! We also walked around the neighborhood, and I'm trying to get acclumated with the area. Right now, it's still pretty confusing, but I know I'll get the hang of it soon enough.

All of the people that I've met so far seem really nice, and I really think this is going to be a great semester. I'm really excited to be here, even though I am less excited about starting class, but even that should be interesting.

Today we all spent the day the beach, which was wonderful of course! I did get a little sunburnt, but nothing too bad. In a little bit, I'm going to go to get gelato with a group of people near the Vatican! The place we're going to is supposed to be really famous, so I have high expectations for it. I'm honestly surprised that I've made it over 24 hours in Italy so far and have yet to eat gelato, but that will change soon enough. After we get gelato, I think I'm going to go downtown, which I'm equally excited for!

-megan

"Just look at that beautiful boot!"

Just a quick note to say that I have safely arrived in Rome! I'm working on getting settled in, and we have all of this orientation stuff going on, but I'm excited to be here... even if I'm dealing with jetlag at the moment.

Italy is just as beautiful as I remembered (as well as really hot). It's so, so good to be here, but the reality that I'm going to spend the next 3.5 months living in this country has not quite sunk in yet at all... that will likely take quite some time.

More about what's going soon, I promise.

Ciao!
-megan